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Rock, Paper, Scissors


Posted by
Buckramega
Nov 13, 2007
Category: Humor
Currently rated
Slightly Awesome
by 23 users

I can understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how a rock can beat scissors, but there is no friggin way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why the heck can't paper do this to scissors?

Forget scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody. A rock would tear that crap up in 2 seconds. When I play rock paper scissors, I always choose rock. The when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you douche nozzle."


Rock paper scissors
Paper: Worth anything?

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User Comments

psper may help to bounce off rocks .. so its kinda > rock ^^ + its more white most times

Comment by: Schussel -- Date: 2008-07-25 19:16:07

lmao

Comment by: beautyrains -- Date: 2008-07-25 16:12:21

Paper = has directions for nuke written on it = for the win

Comment by: Typewriter -- Date: 2008-01-13 11:11:35

Come on, papercuts REALLY hurt. I mean serious, this isn't some nansy pansy crap, it's a PITA when you get a papercut. And I agree with the consuming concept. Besides something simple that you can mimic with your hand has to fit into this plan somewhere. And something has to beat rock and scissors need to beat something...

Comment by: NinjaPirate -- Date: 2007-11-21 19:01:14

Good point... never thought of that way!

Comment by: CUTiger -- Date: 2007-11-16 10:23:20

Paper only accomplishes that when I compel it to act in accordance with my desires. We're talking about rocks, paper, and scissors acting on their own in battle.

Comment by: Malcompliant -- Date: 2007-11-14 10:06:47

If you wrap the paper around the rock it looks like a bunch of paper! then if you would throw it to someone that person would get hit by the paper, not by the rock. the way paper wins from rock is by taking it over, consuming it.

Comment by: Nemesis -- Date: 2007-11-13 23:05:27

but Malcolm if you cram the paper into their throat there is potential for choking.

Comment by: Asno667 -- Date: 2007-11-13 15:39:06

Paper exerts its power over the rock through the power of suffocation. Notebook paper doesn't have enough surface area to suffocate a student. Students also tend to be armed with scissors, which further checks the paper power.

Comment by: Malcompliant -- Date: 2007-11-13 12:46:48

I like paper, I can write on it to remind myself of things. HURRAY!

Comment by: chazinomaha -- Date: 2007-11-13 12:09:41

Better watch what you say there Buck! Ever gotten a paper cut underneath your fingernail?? Tell me that doesn't render you completely helpless and immobile. And at that point they can beat you to death with a ream of copier paper.

Comment by: tragedy -- Date: 2007-11-13 11:49:43

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