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Bandolier of Mullets?

Posted by
Oct 24, 2007
Category: Interesting
Currently rated
Moderately Awesome
by 28 users

I know that many of you who have voted on everything are wondering, just what the heck is a bandolier of mullets? And how did we come up with that nonsense to begin with?

I'll begin with the genesis of the idea. Chazinomaha and I were talking at my desk when our boss came by and started talking to us. At one point in the conversation I swear he said "bandolier of mullets" and I was immediately inebriated with hilarity and asked him if that was what he said. He denied saying that and claimed it was some other inane phrase I cannot even remember. I wrote down "bandolier of mullets" to make sure I did not forget it because it is so obviously awesome.

So what is a bandolier of mullets? Well, a bandolier is a shoulder slung strip of material meant to hold ammunition. Here is an example that most of you should be able to relate to:

Exhibit 1: Chewbacca's Bandolier

As you can see, Chewbacca has a bandolier holding ammunition (presumably) over his shoulder. Obviously, this is just a plain old bandolier and not a bandolier of mullets. A mullet is a hairstyle that is short in the front, top, and sides, but long in the back. Here is an example:

Exhibit 2: Mullethead's Mullet

With these two examples, it becomes easy to imagine what a bandolier of mullets actually is: It is a shoulder slung carrier of mullets. That leaves us with one final question about bandoliers of mullets.

How many mullets can fit on a standard size bandolier? I could just give you the answer, but this one will be more educational if we figure out the correct answer together. First, take the circumference of the standard bandolier, which is approximately four feet, then eliminate the four inch stretch at the very top of the shoulder, since that area will not hold a mullet very well.

That leaves us with 44 inches of bandolier left. The standard mullet hangs down approximately six inches from the point in which it attaches to the bandolier. So then, divide 44 by 6 and you are left with a little over 7. Thus, a standard bandolier can hold 7 mullets.

Of course, in a pinch you can cram more than 7 mullets on a bandolier, but that is kinda tacky and no one really wants to see that, so try and avoid it. Now you know everything there is know about bandoliers of mullets.

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User Comments

Are wookies = Mullets?

Comment by: Typewriter -- Date: 2008-01-13 11:17:03

I like tragedy's idea, but after a while, you would need more bandoliers, as they would fill up. Mabye you could make a rack for your bandoliers.

Comment by: rangermk -- Date: 2007-12-30 16:21:04

Does that come with some anti dandruff treatment?

Comment by: NinjaPirate -- Date: 2007-11-21 19:44:28

I'd like to have a bandolier on my profile page, that has mullets on it according to how many I have. That would be sweet.

Comment by: tragedy -- Date: 2007-11-15 21:44:13

Asphyxiate has 2 bandoliers, we just need to supply mullets and we can get a real life version!

Comment by: chazinomaha -- Date: 2007-10-26 10:21:56

Now that you know what this should look like, can anyone draw a bandolier of mullets for us?

Comment by: Buckramega -- Date: 2007-10-24 16:07:01


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