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The Awesome Theory - (in)Frequently Asked Questions
 
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(in)Frequently asked questinos at The Awesome Theory

It is not surprising that so many of you have questions about this radical new truth. Here we try to clarify those aspects which are more confusing.

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Q. How did you guys come up with this stuff?

--Mullethead in Idaho

A. Yes

Q. No, really, how did you come up with this stuff?

--Mullethead in Idaho

A. 42

Q. Please, I must know - how did you come up with this stuff?

--Mullethead in Idaho

A. An anvil told us

Q. What is the target audience of this site?

--Bob in accounting

A. Ultra-gullible people that think Scientology is just too "out there". Oh, and people who enjoy wacky humor.

Q. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

--Foghorn Leghorn

A. There is no spoon

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?

--Stumped in Mississippi

A. Because the other side was awesome.

Q. Don't you think some of these "Axioms" are just a little too ridiculous?

--Smartypants in Chicago

A. You obviously do not have the requisite awesome to view this site. You should leave. Now. People will believe just about anything. Scientology, for example.

Q. Why "Awesome"? Why not "Cool" or "Super" or "Excellent"?

--Confused in Antartica

A. Those other words are not as awesome as Awesome.

Q. Is the grass really greener on the other side?

--Curious in Wichita

A. No, but sometimes it is more awesome on the other side.

Q. I know this is not a question, but this is the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen.

--Scientologist Apologist in Clearwater

A. You have obviously never read about Scientology. That is more ridiculous by several orders of magnitude. At least.

Q. Why are ninjas the personificiation of awesome?

--Najar the Nuclear Ninja

A. Because I'll flip out and kill you, that's why!

Q. What was the Anvil's name?

--Mulletskull in New Jersey

A. Andy. Andy the anvil. He's a swell guy. He makes an outstanding grilled cheese sandwich. Although (don't tell him that I told you this), he does not pay his child support payments, and I do not think that is awesome at all.

Q. Is God a Ninja?

--Little Mullethead in Arkansas

A. Of course God is a Ninja! He is also known as the Alpha Awesome. He created Awesome and saw that it was awesome.

Q. Where is Andy now?

--Doucheling in Denver

A. Well, he likes to travel. You know, tour the world and all that. Plus, he is an introvert. Good luck finding him.

Q. How'd you get to be so gosh darn sexy?

--tragedy in teh interwebz

A. Superior genetics, lots of exercise, and mass brainwashing.

Q. What came first, the ninja or the scientologist?

--Some random anonymous idiot

A. Idiot! If you paid attention, you would know that the Ninja came first. Go give yourself a swirlie!

Q. If stupid particles are represented by pink elephants and republicans are represented by gray elephants, does that mean that gay republicans are pure stupid particles?

--Hippie Treehugging Douche in San Francisco

A. Young Douche, you show promise in the ways of Awesome. You have glimpsed into that which is truly awesome and understood it's true meaning. However you are a hippie, a treehugger and a douche. Therefore until you change your stupid ways you shall be cursed with stupidity.

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This page was last modified on May 15 2008.

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